‘You love them so much you want to be there always’: Helen’s metastatic breast cancer story
By Sylvia Lee | 3 October 2024
Two years ago, Helen, a Sydney-based mum, grandmother and passionate artist, was diagnosed with metastatic (stage 4) breast cancer. She shares her story and her new perspective on life with cancer.

Helen with her 10 grandchildren and husband Michael. Image: Supplied
If Helen had been told she had metastatic breast cancer years ago, she would have been afraid. But the 74-year-old grandmother of 10 is far from it. “It is just something I am living with and a reason why I have more appreciation for everything and everyone around me,” she says.
When Helen’s doctor broke the crushing news that her cancer was incurable in October 2022, she recalls that “it did not come as a surprise”. She already had her suspicions after discovering some tenderness on the side of her breast and a lump above her collarbone. Her ultrasound, biopsy and mammogram results only confirmed what she already knew.
The first couple of weeks after her diagnosis, Helen spent hours on the phone with her loved ones. Confronted with her own mortality, she thought about Michael, her loving husband of 52 years, her three children Emma, Annaliese and Matthew and their partners, and her 10 beautiful grandchildren. All she wanted to do was to reassure them that she would be OK, even though the future she had always imagined had drastically changed.
“My mother's just turned 100 this year and I expected to be up there too at one stage. It’s the realisation that there is an ending, which I hadn’t thought about. We have 10 grandchildren–you love them so much you want to be there always, but you realise that isn’t going to happen,” she says.
“Everyone around me had a similar reaction. There was a desperate need for closeness and to be together. I felt completely loved and supported, and had a real sense of not being alone. There were many hugs.”
The new normal: Living with metastatic breast cancer

Helen undergoing radiation therapy.

Images: Supplied
Metastatic or stage 4 breast cancer is an invasive, advanced form of breast cancer that has spread from the affected breast/s to other parts of the body like the bones, lungs, liver, or brain. In Australia, over 10,000 people, like Helen, are currently living with this advanced stage of breast cancer, which means they will need to be in treatment for the rest of their lives.
While there is no cure for metastatic breast cancer, advancements in cancer research continue to improve and develop new treatments that have significantly improved prognosis. “My diagnosis is completely different to what it would have been in the past,” says Helen. “The first thing I said to my oncologist was, ‘How long? He said, ‘Five years, but…’ That ‘but’ has stayed with me forever. It’s my lifeline.”

Helen with her husband Michael, children Emma, Annaliese and Matthew, and grandchild. Image: Supplied
While Helen’s initial round of treatment, aggressive chemotherapy to shrink the breast tumours, took a physical and emotional toll, support from her family and close friends carried her through the hardest days. “My husband was so encouraging and did his best to lift my spirits. He would cook me all my favourite meals,” she shares.
Now, she receives two different targeted therapies (Perjeta and Herceptin) every three weeks, which help to extend her prognosis, and has just undergone five consecutive rounds of radiation therapy.
“I have ongoing treatment, but I am living normally and am even planning holidays! At first I didn’t want to start things as I wasn’t sure about the future. Now I feel cancer is just another part of my life and my routine treatment is a reminder of that.”
‘A tremendous appreciation for life’: Helen’s hopes for the future

Helen and her husband Michael on a holiday after her diagnosis. Image: Supplied
Having just returned from a 10-day getaway to Fiji, Helen and Michael are already planning their next adventures together, carefully timed around her routine treatments.
“I have a tremendous appreciation for my life,” she shares. “Cancer has made me want to make sure there are no lingering ‘what ifs’ and to make things right with everyone.”
“I know my cancer isn’t curable, but I am not frightened. I know there is research that will make a difference to me. New treatments are being approved all the time. This has already extended my life and gives me hope.”
This deep sense of hope has allowed her to picture celebrating her grandkids’ 21st birthdays with the rest of her family.
“Words aren’t enough to describe how much I adore them. My family is at the heart of everything I do.”

Helen with her husband Michael and daughter Emma at the Cure Cancer office.
“Cancer research is important not only for those people diagnosed in the future but for people like me who are living with cancer today.”
Your generosity gives hope to women like Helen for whom research is a lifeline. By supporting cutting-edge breast cancer research, your contribution will bring us closer to discovering new and improved treatments that can significantly improve outcomes for people living with breast cancer.